There's no reason for him to enjoy this. Billy is grieving, in a way that is so far beyond his reach, and they're in some motel in who the fuck knows where, Indiana. Eddie knows, even in the best of circumstances, that Billy isn't the type to share his feelings. That doesn't do much for the way he wants to draw them out, to drag them into the light and really deal with them. But this? This is a start, at least.

"Guess not," Eddie doesn't laugh, though he feels like he should. Maybe most of Hawkins, most of the country, would find their relationship all sorts of ridiculous, reprehensible. Eddie doesn't, doesn't pull his hand away, instead runs warm lines that run dangerously close to Billy's crotch with each pass.

"Think I could have been a girl and he still would have found a way to hate it." It's more than he has any right to say. He hadn't known Neil, not the way Billy had. For as little as he had known about Neil, he had known him to be full of hatred. Being gay feels like just a cherry on top of everything, one more way to turn his anger outward. "But I don't think you should feel bad about it. I sure don't."